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Self

How To Not Take Things Personally

Taking an attack where there isn’t one is one of the hardest things that we may be faced with. When we realize that nobody is out there to target us, we free ourselves from the burden of feeling hurt.

“The first half of life is devoted to forming a healthy ego, the second half is going inward and letting go of it.”

Carl Jung

Don’t create story lines (mental movies) in your head
In other words, stop overthinking. Even the best of us overthink, it’s totally normal, but try not to elaborate on hypothetical scenarios going from point A to point Z. People generally don’t do things to spite other people. If a colleague or a friend has ignored you or was curt with you, don’t jump to conclusions on how they hate you. Usually, there is something going on with them or you caught them in a busy moment.

Be brave and ask
If there is something unclear or bothering you, spare no time and ask the person involved immediately. Sometimes leaving things be or ignoring the obvious problem would tear any relationship down over time. Opening-up and being honest, instead of being fake-polite, will clear any misunderstandings between you.

Learn to differentiate a neg from feedback
People see things that we can’t with ourselves. It’s called a Blind Spot. and because we are blind sided about ourselves, people offer their feedback. We can be a little unreceptive to this due to a number of reasons. Don’t be defensive. Be careful though, because some people offer up advice and say nasty things under the guise of “constructive criticism”. How to know if the feedback is valid? Take points only from people who you would ask for advice from.

The only opinion that matters is yours
People will say a lot of things about you. How you dress, how you cook, what your job is, where you live, what car you drive. All these things are projection. Projection is the mental process by which people attribute to others what is in their own minds. For example, individuals who are in a self-critical state, consciously or unconsciously, may think that other people are critical of them. When a person questions your lifestyle and makes judgement about you, most likely this same thing are things that they want for themselves. Don’t let anybody that resents you, make you question your beliefs about yourself.

Don’t think about it!
The last advice is to let the comments pass you and don’t think about it. People will say a lot of things and a lot of those they didn’t even think about. Don’t create a mental space for boring comments and park it in your head. People say things and it’s not that deep. Their opinions are really not about you- it’s about them.